Becoming mindful of wanting is terrifying.
Here is a list of what I’ve noticed myself wanting to obtain, in the last day and a half:
- A beer
- MP3 player
- Bluetooth speaker
- Earplugs and eyemask (I live on a noisy road and am woken up every day by the beautiful sounds of vibrant life and I want to kill it all.)
- A fancy notebook to write about Tarot in
- A Father’s Day present. Sorry Dad 😥
- Another pair of leggings identical to the ones I already own, because I love them so much I never want to lose them
- Army boots
- Tin whistles in every key I don’t already have, also a new High D whistle because mine got dented. The G squeaks now, I can’t be running about with a squeaky G.
- Vodka or white rum to mix this amazing essential oil blend into a perfume. I got into proper perfumery now, Pippa Porcupine’s Perfumes is my new hobby.
So yes, you can see that in just 24 hours, I’ve desired hundreds of pounds worth of things. And this is only the bits I remember. To be honest, I think I’ve done well not to be in life-ruining amounts of debt, between the grasping mind and lack of impulse control.
It’s been hilarious watching my mind want things, and justify the having of them. My whole life with this brain is like trying to guide a spoiled child round Toys’R’Us (RIP).
However, the brat-brain is easily distracted and placated with other things. Maybe I should look into some child development psychology about dealing with spoiled brat horror-children though, because I’m sure that underneath the bad behaviour is a bored mentally ill inner child crying out for love. Love or a clip round the ear, anyway.