So, one of my poems is going to be published. In an actual physical magazine. This requires a 30 word author biography, a byline summing up my worth, achievements and personality. If I was a successful writer, it would list my prizes and bestselling works, or at least a few well-known magazines, but as this is my first outing, I’ve got to be a little more creative, and a lot more vague. I also have “identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self” as one of the few diagnostic criteria I 100% totally identify with. I have never successfully described myself in 3 words, so I don’t know if 30 words will be much better.
My author bio – some ideas:
Pippa is a poet and short story writer from Derbyshire. She has a First Class degree in English Literature with Creative Writing from the University of Surrey. [Who cares?]
Pip is a newly fledged creative writer currently living in Derbyshire. She has a BA (hons) in English Literature with Creative Writing, and a varied collection of mental health problems.
Pippa has no outstanding achievements; she writes poetry to escape the yawning void that is her life. Her work has only been published here, so consider yourselves lucky.
Pippa is a traditional mad, sad poet and will probably die of alcoholism at a young age. Her work will be posthumously feted, so you should probably ask her to sign things, and maybe commission something if you’re rich. The investment will pay off.
Pippa is severely personality disordered and aims to spread sorrow through poetry. She attended Surrey University for an Eng. Lit. with Creative Writing degree, and the Royal Surrey Hospital for dehydration.
Pippa has no stable sense of identity and so is unable to supply a coherent biography. She is a poet and a fool.
So, what do you think? Tell me in the comments, what’s a great bio? Any of these ones? If not, why not write me a better one if you know so much about it? Come on, do my job for me. Please. I may be slightly overthinking this. Do people pay much attention to author bios? I personally love them, a witty or interesting one really makes pay attention to a writer.