Black & Decker Wrecker

I posted this lovely selfie and was gifted a couple of edits in return. To show gratitude, I’m posting them here.

Thank you to Case, who has been a guest here before with this poem.

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And big up to Umor who started this trend.

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Black & Decker Wrecker

How the Porcupine Came to Be

How the Porcupine Came to Be

Click here to read the whole thrilling origin story of my ridiculous skincare venture.

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High five to porcupines everywhere.

How the Porcupine Came to Be

More Earrings!

When I started this blog, I envisaged writing mostly about Literature, poetry, politics, psycho/neuro/chiatry and a sprinkling of aesthetics. Maybe a little magic. Instead, enjoy your earrings.

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I’ll not run out of earrings for a while now.

Some bought, some made by me, but most of them are gifts transported across the world on a complex journey from my Indian cousin, via Leeds, London, and several relatives. Uma, it was a journey, but we made it in the end.  ❤

I have 3 piercings in each earlobe, so I go through a lot of earrings. Before the beautiful blessing from my cousin, I was down to my last two rings. I’m terrible at keeping earrings. Every time I get drunk I lose at least one.

I do own some expensive earrings I got as an 18th birthday present, but I never dare to wear them. I just know the back will get caught in my hair or something, and then I’ll have to explain to my grandmother how I lost an 24 carat gold, sapphire and diamond heirloom. I have very few valuable pieces of jewellery, and I keep them locked away. I am not responsible with valuables.

So this is my stud/pin earring collection. Some just bought cheap off eBay, some exotic finds, some pretty expensive gifts (made of actual silver and everything!), and some handmade by myself with all the power that entails. If you’re really bored, there’s a fun guessing game for you. Which is which? What did I make, what’s Indian, and what is a genuine commercially available piece of jewellery? Answers in comments please.

I will soon write a post about the craft skills behind the earring storage box. Keep reading to discover that thrilling information!

More Earrings!

Shitty Craft Project: Customised Phone Case

Phone case
A certain kind of Needlework. (Sorry about the shit photography. I was probably drunk.)

For this project you will need: Plain PU leather phone case, a needle (sewing variety preferable), chalk, leather varnish, paintbrush, superglue, plastic tat with flat surfaces suitable for gluing.

  1. Think of a meaningful and beautiful phrase. No stupid cliches, no spelling errors, nothing that will make people think you’re an idiot as soon as you get your phone out. They’re already judging you for your phone addiction, don’t add fuel to the fire by writing YOLO on it or something like that. I chose a quote from E.M. Forster, but the most well known one, so that more people will recognise how intelligent and well read I am.
  2. Get your sewing needle, thumb tack, really small screw, or large guague hypodermic, and scratch your phrase into your stuff. You want all the letters to be even and legible. Think about typeface and kerning, but then realise that unless you’re some kind of craft genius it will look like something you idly scratched into your desk at school. And that’s OK. This is shitty craft, not fucking Pinterest.
  3. Scribble over your lettering with chalk. Experiment with different colours and effects, wipe it off a few times. The main point is for the chalk to fill the scratches so the letters show up. Wipe off any excess chalk, then varnish it. I kept a square area of chalk smears for aesthetic reasons, while the lettering is relatively clear. I used this leather finishing varnish from Direct Leather Supplies. I had it left over from a boot painting project, I knew it would come in handy again one day!
  4. To make your project even more amateur and shitty, glue on whatever bits of garbage you can find around the house. I used a plastic ant, in keeping with the social theme of my quote. I glued it on with Loctite and then weighted it down with books while it bonded. I must say, Loctite is the shit.

    I wholeheartedly recommend these tiny glues.
  5. In 12 hours or so, the glue and varnish will be dry and your phone holder will be ready to go. Take it out and show it off. Make sure everyone knows how interesting and crafty you are by waving your phone case in their faces and yelling ‘I MADE THIS!’. I promise they will be impressed; this may even be your way into that fashion design internship you secretly crave.
Shitty Craft Project: Customised Phone Case