It’s all official and real. A pamphlet of my poetry will be published in a few months. Now I will be spending some time editing and on those essential non-poetry bits like cover design. Or possibly on finding someone with better design skills than me to do cover design.
This is a big step in a good direction, and I think it’s going to be fun. Many thanks to Sarer & Paul at Hesterglock.
From bitter experience, I know that New Year’s Resolutions are destined to fail. A year is an unfathomably long time, and there is no possible way I can plan that far. However, this year is different in that a lot of it is already planned for me. I will be living in Derbyshire, and doing Dialectical Behavioural Therapy twice a week. Which is probably going to be exhausting and take up a lot of my power. It also means that I want to look after myself a bit better. I can’t very well fix my brain if I’m tired, sick, or hungover.
I last made a set of goals in September. Of those goals, all I’ve managed to do is the dentist one. I got 4 fillings but think I need to go back because the most recent filling hurts. The pain has actually kept me awake a couple of nights. Oh, I also got a bike, because Daddy bought it for me. I rode some, but I admit that my lack of fitness and lack of road confidence have led to me not doing as much as I ought to. Also it has rained for the last 6 weeks so I refuse to go outside.
Journal writing has been up and down. I was doing well until December, I think. I did submit something, and got published! Now to submit something else… I also managed to take a massive backwards step by starting smoking again. Maybe that’s why I now have a hacking chest cough.
So, here are some new goals for the first bit of 2016:
Bike more places. Maybe do a cycling course so I don’t die in traffic.
Train up for half marathon in July, 3-5 days/week.
5k & 10k runs. Like the Parkrun.
Find a yoga class or similar.
Eat in a sustainable way with actual nutrients and not just cheese.
Quit smoking, again.
Drink once or twice a week, at most.
Complete editing and design cover for poetry pamphlet, by April.
Polish and submit poems and short stories I already have.
Write more stuff.
Get some work experience/do some journalism/something something professional writer.
Do NaPoWriMo in April.
Get in touch with local groups and see what I can do.
Do the therapy and homework (without constant sarcasm).
Fill in mood diary sheet every day.
Go to hypnotherapy that the amazing Si is giving me for free!
Tidy my room. It’s getting serious in here.
Paint some stuff.
Learn to crochet.
Plan some actual holidays and adventures to do during the breaks.
OK. That’s a ridiculous amount of goals. I’ll check back in 3 months and see what’s happening. Positive thinking says I will have made great progress in that time. Experience says “HAHAHAHAHAA!!! Get to fuck will you?!”
Well. I did it. I’m still alive. Christmas and New Year were actually excellent. I gave people some homemade gifts and cards, and even managed to make Christmas scented candles which burned properly. So, I think I managed to fulfill the promises of my last post. I even managed to not be an asshole, most of the time. I think. Except for that one time. But mostly things were good; we didn’t let our issues get in the way of having a good time.
Christmas was a family thing, spent at home with parents and brother. It’s not too often these days that we spend that amount of time together, so it was really nice. We did the usual festive stuff, eating, drinking, and persuading the drunk parents to play Cards Against Humanity. That was disturbingly hilarious, and my dad is disturbingly good at that game!
After Christmas, I basically slept until New Years Eve, then went to London. I always love seeing my friends down there, and it had been a while since we last got together. I stayed on my lovely boat-buddy’s new boat! We went to a stupidly overpriced hippy-infested all-night gig, because the bands were great and the venue is love. T-Chances in Tottenham is a place where I’ve spent a lot of time, and it’s always good to go back and say hi. It was also good to dance all night and drink fizzy wine in the carpark and sing Auld Lang Syne hand in hand with beloved friends.
Of course, after all that I felt terrible, and I still have a cough because apparently going outside is just too much for my poor feeble body. But hey, it was worth it. As I’ll be going into in my next post, hopefully in 2016 I will become less weak, and maybe even (quelle horreur!) less drunk.